You had yet another fight about the dishes. It’s impossible to even ask them to do anything. They never seem to stop nagging. You can’t remember the last time you had a conversation that didn’t end badly, and of course when the credit card statement comes you know it’s headed for another argument. Is it time for couples therapy?
What Is Couples Counseling?
Similar to getting the oil changed in your car or upgrading your tires in the winter – your relationship requires attention and maintenance to keep it running well. Sometimes we can do small maintenance ourselves like going for a date night or making time for one another. Other times, it requires a professional to look at what the deeper problem might be. This is where any type of person or couple can benefit from couples therapy.
Signs That You Need Couples Counseling
Social media seems to be an ongoing highlight reel of the ideal relationship. Couples’ challenges on Tic Tok, Insta-hubbies doting on their influencer wives, and catching the picture-perfect pose for Facebook is everywhere. But in reality, most couples struggle in at least a few areas. Here are a few signs that you may find comfort in guidance from couples therapy.
- You’re having the same argument: If you feel like your relationship is a broken record stuck on repeat, it needs fixing. An objective third party can bring fresh eyes and a different perspective to get you out of that rut.
- You’re looking outside your relationship: If you notice you’re looking outside of your marriage to find fulfillment, happiness, or attention – it’s likely a sign that there’s a problem within the relationship that should be addressed.
- You’re avoiding sex: Intimacy is one of the easiest ways to take the temperature of your relationship. If you find yourself avoiding connection, sleeping in another room, or faking a headache (again), it might be time to call for a little help.
- You don’t feel like you in your relationship: Perhaps you feel like you’re playing a part or fulfilling a role that isn’t authentic to who you really are. This often plays out over time and can be difficult to pinpoint. But if you suddenly feel like you aren’t yourself, you can choose to speak to a counselor alone or arrange couples therapy to discover what is happening beneath the surface.
- You feel lonely: Do you feel like you’re alone, unseen, lacking affection or like you have no voice in the relationship? It’s important to bring these feelings to the attention of your partner, which can be easier to do with the support of a couples therapist.
- You or your partner have an affair: The aftermath of infidelity is extremely painful for both parties and should not be navigated without the help of a professional therapist.
- Lack of trust: Mismanaged money, pornography use, gambling addiction, unending lies, or emotional affairs can all create a lack of trust in the relationship. Rebuilding this foundation is definitely a job for a professional so both parties can feel supported and heard.
- Poor communication: This is one of the most common patterns we see with couples in Louisville KY, and it can be one of the most difficult things to fix on your own. Your communication patterns are strongly ingrained into the dynamics of your relationship from day one. A therapist can help to create new patterns and provide tools to help you connect, hear, and understand one another better.
- Something feels wrong: Trust your gut when it comes to your relationships. If you feel off but you’re not sure what or why, a couple’s therapist can often help to pinpoint the problem that you’ve been unable to define.
- You have a secret: If there is something you want your partner to know, but you’ve been unable to tell them, having the support of a therapist can help you to show your partner what you’ve been hiding in a safe environment.
- You want to have a healthy relationship: One of the best reasons to enlist a therapist from Innovative Family Therapy in Louisville, KY is simply because you want to have a healthy relationship. Even if you’re on a good path and things seem to be smooth sailing, checking in with a therapist can only strengthen your bond as a couple.
- Jealousy is becoming an issue: If you can’t go out with the girlfriends, or he can’t go to lunch with coworkers due to jealousy – it might be time to call for guidance. Jealousy is usually a sign of insecurity that can lead to anger, rage, or resentment. If you don’t discuss jealousy head on, it will likely get worse over time.
Benefits of Couples Counseling
Talking about sex and money is hard enough with your partner, now you’re considering bringing in a complete stranger. The idea may seem scary, but it is one of the best things you can do for yourself as an individual and for your relationship. At Innovative Family Therapy, we are accustomed to talking about these topics openly and without judgment. Our couples in Louisville, KY and surrounding areas find several benefits throughout couples therapy including:
- Couples therapy allows you the space to really decide how you feel about your partner and yourself. Finding clarity in your thoughts and feelings can guide you in your path forward.
- As you reach a deeper level of understanding each other, therapy can often deepen intimacy and connection in your relationship.
- Even if your relationship ends, couples therapy promotes self-awareness and personal growth to help you in future relationships.
- When used early in a relationship, therapy can help resolve roadblocks before they spiral into a stalemate.
- Couples therapy allows you to learn how to communicate with your partner and listen to understand and solve problems together.
- If you are feeling beaten down, weak, depressed, or belittled, therapy can help you to restore your own emotional strength in the relationship.
10 Things You’ll Learn in Couples Counseling
You think it’s already too late? You have already tried it all and nothing worked? Your relationship is always changing and never the same. As you evolve as a person so does your relationship. No matter how long you’ve been together – there is plenty to learn from couples counseling. At Innovative Family Therapy in Louisville, KY you will learn more about yourself and your spouse than you realized was possible.
- You learn that nobody is perfect. Neither you nor your spouse are immune to mistakes, faults, and bad decisions.
- You learn that differences are not deficiencies. The differences in your relationship are to be embraced, not avoided or shunned.
- You learn to better understand how your spouse feels valued and the role you play in how they see themselves.
- You learn your own conflict style and the conflict style of your spouse. Oftentimes these can clash with one another and cause problems if you aren’t aware of them.
- You learn your spouse’s communication style and your own communication style and how to use both to hear and be understood.
- You learn how to deal with stress without making your spouse the victim of your mood.
- You learn what your spouse needs from you and how to express your needs to them in a healthy way.
- You learn how to connect, and stay connected, to your spouse for years to come.
- You learn the importance of comfort and safety in a relationship and how to “soothe” your spouse.
- You learn what your priorities are and what your spouse’s priorities are so you can work together to achieve your goals.
Couples Counseling FAQs